I work in a tenement...

I came to this realization over the last several weeks.  Now, many of you may be wondering "but Matt, you've been bitching about your shitty office building for five years, you are just now stating this as a fact?"  Where to begin....

PEOPLE CHANGING THEIR CLOTHES IN THE FUCKING BATHROOM

Now, I like to think that I work in a professional office building...reasonable, no?  So I was headed downstairs to do my business, and as I turn the corner in the broom closet-sized bathroom, I come face to face with some random dude off the streets in his underwear.  Keep in mind, HE IS BLOCKING ALL ACCESS TO THE URINALS AND TOILETS.  I look at him face-to-face...mano a mano.  He lets out an inconsequential grunt and continues what he is doing.  Afraid to accidentally send him into a PCP-induced frenzy of violence, I quietly back away without showing fear and exit the bathroom.

What is wrong with this picture?  Is the security office downstairs really using the bathroom as a personal locker room for their ragtag army of Paul Blarts?  Why doesn't it occur to people that jeopardizing an entire bathroom in an office building isn't socially acceptable?

AMBIENT NOISE OUTSIDE: GHETTO MOMS CURSING IN FRONT OF CHILDREN, SHITTY SUBWOOFERS, ETC.

Since working here, I can point to a long list of occurrences where I have been working at my desk, and suddenly been disturbed by the sweet sounds of "U SAID U WAS PICKING UP DAT MONEY N***A! WHAT THE HELL'M I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW, MM?  GET YOUR FUCKIN ASS OVER THERE RIGHT NOW MAFUCKA!"  All of this in front of at least one elementary-aged child, perhaps two.  Seriously, there is no hope for these children.

I also enjoy coming back from lunch and hearing the absolute worst of today's rap music being blasted through shitty car speakers, by people parked in the 15 minute parking spots so everyone that enters the building has to hear their shit and notice their SICK TINTS BRUH.  Seriously, this is a commercial district, not the fucking slums.  Take your beat ride somewhere else.

Occasionally I hear a bird, but that might be the related brain impairment from the chemical fumes coming from my vent, which brings me to my last point...

INDUSTRIAL CONSTRUCTION AT ALL HOURS OF THE DAY

They are renovating the suite downstairs.  No big deal, right?  Unfortunately, the building manager has given the contractors carte blanche to be as absolutely loud and obnoxious as they want to be.  Imagine 120 decibel drills and hammers going off all day long.  But not consistently.  No, they stop long enough to lull you into a relaxed state before going buckwild again, jolting you from your reverie.

I've also noticed the aforementioned fumes (and even fine particulate matter) coming out of my vent after said construction.  Asbestos, perhaps?  Could I possibly have mesothelioma?  If so, can I get in on some of that sweet class action swag?

I could go on about the random/mentally disabled people that physically walk into my office and stare at me or confront me, but that would be dragging on.  As a disclaimer, I can work from home three days a week, so my brave colleagues have it far worse than I.