I had the good fortune of traveling out to Pittsburgh this week to catch Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals. The trip was great...I always love any chance I get to travel to the cleaner part of the state. That being said, I have never been more pissed off driving on a road than I am on the good ol Pennsylvania Turnpike.
For starters, the greedy bastards (I'm looking at you, slick Eddie Rendell) in Harrisburg decided that it was fair to make a one way trip from Philly to Pittsburgh cost TWENTY F*CKING DOLLARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I worked it out...that is almost 8 cents/mile. By comparison, the NJ Turnpike charges just under 5 cents a mile. Oh yeah, and they actually have made great improvements on that road, in contrast to the PA Turnpike that hasn't been repaved since 1923.
And the work zones..........good god almighty the work zones. I drove through approximately 27 work zones between here and Pittsburgh. For about 24 of them, the only "work" i saw being done was men in orange coats putting down more cones. You want to solve the national deficit in one fell swoop? Ban the manufacturing of orange cones, and cease and desist all road work projects that primarily involve setting down and picking up orange cones on a seemingly random basis. There is a mountain on the eastbound Turnpike just past Breezewood that is three lanes to accomodate large trucks. So naturally, the jerks decide to squeeze it to one lane so we all get to follow some truck for five miles up a hill going about 15 mph. Then when I get to the top, here is what I see: THREE MEN IN A TRUCK PICKING UP ORANGE CONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Get with the 21st century Pennsylvania....please
Thursday, May 21, 2009
DELETE YOUR VOICEMAILS, IDIOT
In my daily work, I call plenty of people. Nothing pisses me off more than calling someone, sitting through five rings, listening to their stupid voicemail message, and then hearing the following:
THIS MAILBOX IS FULL, AND NO NEW MESSAGES CAN BE ADDED.
Really? Are you fu*king kidding me? I sit here for 60 seconds of my precious life, preparing myself to leave a professional and well-thought out voicemail on your phone, and your MAILBOX IS FULL?! This is truly one phenomenon that I have never understood. It amazes me that there are some morons out there that will let so many old messages collect on their phone that they actually run out of memory.
What in the hell do you need those old voicemails for anyway? I am sure somewhere in this person's mailbox, there is a voicemail of their Aunt Gail telling them to check out the latest LOL Cats photos. Call me crazy...when I listen to a voicemail, I delete it immediately. Hell, sometimes I just delete the voicemail and call the person directly. I have let some voicemails pile up in the past....but i have never come CLOSE to filling up my mailbox. So hey jerkoff....what's the point of having a cell phone if no one can leave a message? EMPTY YOUR MAILBOX!!!!!!!!!!!!
THIS MAILBOX IS FULL, AND NO NEW MESSAGES CAN BE ADDED.
Really? Are you fu*king kidding me? I sit here for 60 seconds of my precious life, preparing myself to leave a professional and well-thought out voicemail on your phone, and your MAILBOX IS FULL?! This is truly one phenomenon that I have never understood. It amazes me that there are some morons out there that will let so many old messages collect on their phone that they actually run out of memory.
What in the hell do you need those old voicemails for anyway? I am sure somewhere in this person's mailbox, there is a voicemail of their Aunt Gail telling them to check out the latest LOL Cats photos. Call me crazy...when I listen to a voicemail, I delete it immediately. Hell, sometimes I just delete the voicemail and call the person directly. I have let some voicemails pile up in the past....but i have never come CLOSE to filling up my mailbox. So hey jerkoff....what's the point of having a cell phone if no one can leave a message? EMPTY YOUR MAILBOX!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, May 11, 2009
The Classless Presidency...
What was Obama Thinking?!
During the election cycle, millions upon millions of Americans listened obediently as The Great Leader promised that he would bring an overwhelming wave of bipartisan change. He was going to wash away the bitter infighting between the right and left, and encourage everyone to work together. Just like many other "promises" that Obama made to the herd of naive sheep that is the American electorate, he has naturally broken this one as well.
When the Obama administration decided to invite the overrated comedian Wanda Sykes to do a gig at the White House, you wonder what in the hell they were thinking. What do you expect when you bring someone in that is a bitter feminist and militantly gay....anything less than hateful rhetoric? Sykes proceeded to claim that Rush Limbaugh was the 20th 9/11 hijacker, but was so hopped up on Oxycontin that he didn't remember. Oh, and she also said that she hoped that Limbaugh would "die of kidney failure". This is not at the Apollo Theater...this is at the White House Correspondent's Dinner. To make it worse, our president showed how much class and dignity he had as he proceeded to laugh hysterically at Sykes' disgusting joke.
I could barely keep my bagel down this morning as I read the numerous media articles about how Obama just "killed them" with laughter!!! Of course, there was no mention of the kidney failure...the useful idiots in the mainstream media do their best to insulate their idol from damage. I like how the president also decided to joke about the botched photo-op for Air Force One that caused thousands to flee their Manhattan offices in panic as they flashed back to 9/11. Never in a million years could I ever imagine that one man could be so openly and outwardly arrogant. But when the brainless American voters prop him up as some kind of black Christ figure, I guess the Texas-sized ego goes along with the package.
During the election cycle, millions upon millions of Americans listened obediently as The Great Leader promised that he would bring an overwhelming wave of bipartisan change. He was going to wash away the bitter infighting between the right and left, and encourage everyone to work together. Just like many other "promises" that Obama made to the herd of naive sheep that is the American electorate, he has naturally broken this one as well.
When the Obama administration decided to invite the overrated comedian Wanda Sykes to do a gig at the White House, you wonder what in the hell they were thinking. What do you expect when you bring someone in that is a bitter feminist and militantly gay....anything less than hateful rhetoric? Sykes proceeded to claim that Rush Limbaugh was the 20th 9/11 hijacker, but was so hopped up on Oxycontin that he didn't remember. Oh, and she also said that she hoped that Limbaugh would "die of kidney failure". This is not at the Apollo Theater...this is at the White House Correspondent's Dinner. To make it worse, our president showed how much class and dignity he had as he proceeded to laugh hysterically at Sykes' disgusting joke.
I could barely keep my bagel down this morning as I read the numerous media articles about how Obama just "killed them" with laughter!!! Of course, there was no mention of the kidney failure...the useful idiots in the mainstream media do their best to insulate their idol from damage. I like how the president also decided to joke about the botched photo-op for Air Force One that caused thousands to flee their Manhattan offices in panic as they flashed back to 9/11. Never in a million years could I ever imagine that one man could be so openly and outwardly arrogant. But when the brainless American voters prop him up as some kind of black Christ figure, I guess the Texas-sized ego goes along with the package.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
This one is dedicated to......
All of you jerkoffs out there that drive silver/gray cars in a downpour where the visibility is 100 feet at best, yet don't feel the need to turn on your headlights. Oh, and don't bother to use turn signals either. If 3 miles down the road you end up underneath a tractor trailer, that's one less idiot I need to deal with.
And let's not forget the geniuses that think their parking lights are a great replacement for actual headlights a half an hour after the sun sets. If I was a cop, I would just go around pulling people over and punching them in the face for being such morons...
And let's not forget the geniuses that think their parking lights are a great replacement for actual headlights a half an hour after the sun sets. If I was a cop, I would just go around pulling people over and punching them in the face for being such morons...
Swine Flu -- Big $#%#!$# Deal!
You would think that the latest media frenzy over the "swine flu" would make me tremble with fear as I proceeded to put duct tape around all of my windows and doors while stocking up on Purell. I have never seen such a big deal made out of something so minor. And yes, the swine flu, or H1N1, or whatever the hell they want to call it, IS minor.
35,000 people in the United States die of influenza every year. The so-called "experts" have even said that this strain of influenza is a relatively minor strain that is less virulent than our garden variety flu. Today, Mexico is returning to life as normal as the outbreak down there seems to have eased. Yet if you turn on the news, you are almost waiting for Dustin Hoffman to show up on screen with the dead carrier monkey from Outbreak.
If you are panicking about Swine Flu, for the love of God, get a hold of yourself. Since the mainstream media's ratings are going down the toilet faster than yesterday's lunch, they will do anything they can to foster a panic that will lead to more scared viewers. If you wake up tomorrow with a stuffy nose, don't run to the ER like a tool. Take some Vitamin C and toughen the f**k up.
35,000 people in the United States die of influenza every year. The so-called "experts" have even said that this strain of influenza is a relatively minor strain that is less virulent than our garden variety flu. Today, Mexico is returning to life as normal as the outbreak down there seems to have eased. Yet if you turn on the news, you are almost waiting for Dustin Hoffman to show up on screen with the dead carrier monkey from Outbreak.
Coming to a town near you.............
If you are panicking about Swine Flu, for the love of God, get a hold of yourself. Since the mainstream media's ratings are going down the toilet faster than yesterday's lunch, they will do anything they can to foster a panic that will lead to more scared viewers. If you wake up tomorrow with a stuffy nose, don't run to the ER like a tool. Take some Vitamin C and toughen the f**k up.
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